


Sarcasm

by Mewwy



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-06
Updated: 2012-03-06
Packaged: 2017-11-01 13:50:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mewwy/pseuds/Mewwy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny has a habit of being sarcastic. Sometimes being sarcastic will get you exactly what you want!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sarcasm

"Danno could you do me a huge favor?" Steve growled out.

"Sure big guy. What can I do for you?" Before Steve could get a word in edgewise Danny continued, "can I call backup? Oh, wait oops no cell service but that doesn’t matter. No phone. Maybe I can get a helicopter out here. Damn I forgot my ham radio. Perhaps I can build a transporter out of bamboo and duct tape? Shit, sorry man, no duct tape."

Steve could swear Danny never needed to breathe, so when he saw an opening he took it, "Danny shut the fuck up for a second!"

Danny had the nerve to look hurt, "Steve what?" Steve tried to jump in but it was a helpless cause, "now I am hurt Steven. You just told me to shut the fuck up. That was completely uncalled for. Hell, for that matter it was just plain rude." Playing dirty Steve grabbed a few of Danny’s arm hairs and yanked. "Shit oww Steve. What the fuck?" He actually looked at Steve.

Thanking Danny’s extra body hair Steve said, "just please do me a favor. Please." He was pleading so Danny nodded at him while rubbing his arm with a hurt expression. "Could you please, I beg of you, get off my bare foot? You’re killing me here."

Not even noticing that he was standing on Steve’s foot. After all Danny was fully dressed, shoes included. Super SEAL not so much. Moving off his foot Danny quietly apologized, "sorry." Then he just stared at the man.

"I think my pinky toe is broken." Steve was checking out his foot. Nothing noticing that volcano Danny was working on erupting. "I am sorry I told you to shut up, but broken toes fucking hurt okay. And you were standing on mine." He looked up in time to feel the slap on the back of his head. "Danny what the fuck!"

"That is for once again getting my ass trapped somewhere in the middle of fucking no where on this god forsaken island!"

 

Four hours earlier Danny had arrived at Steve’s for a quiet Sunday of beer, steaks, and football. When he arrived he didn’t find his friend anywhere on the premises, his truck was there, so Danny assumed that Steve had taken a swim. Not unusual for the ex-SEAL. Putting the salad together and mixing up the rub for the steak Danny went about starting dinner with the football game on in the background. Once the prep work was done Danny pulled the steaks out and put the rub on them. Putting them back in the fridge he grabbed a beer and headed out to the beach. Steve should be back soon.

As soon as Danny hit the beach something seemed off. It was quiet on a Sunday that never happened. Sure the beach was private but the Wesley’s had grandchildren in from the mainland that were still in town. For them to be quiet was rare. Placing his beer on the chair he went up to the small cabinet that Steve kept near the BBQ. Semi hidden so it wasn’t noticeable it contained the life of a SEAL; couple of knives, spare ammo clips, binoculars, night vision goggles. Yes he had asked about those and Steve said mostly he uses them to catch skinny dippers. Of course Danny had called him a pervert but took the glasses for a test drive next time he had been there late enough to use them.

Pulling out the binoculars he secured the cabinet and went back to the beach. Scanning the surf and surrounding water he didn’t see Steve. That was odd Steve never swam out of his zone. He would go straight out three to four miles and turn around and come back. Not that he didn’t swim along the beach, but he had once told Danny the pull of the deeper ocean was stronger and better for muscles. Not that Danny had plans to ever find out, but who knows on this pineapple soaked island. Turning the binoculars up the beach he saw that it was pretty much deserted which was very odd. Looking back the other way he had less than a second to move out of the way as a man dressed in black with a mask on came running at him from the Wesley’s residence. Followed by Steve.

"Danno grab him!"

Unfortunately missing the guy Danny fell to the sand, Steve jumped over him and continued the chase. Recovering quickly Danny followed the two men through the bushes between Steve’s house and the Patterson’s yard. Breaking free of the cover he saw the masked man jump into a car in the Patterson’s drive way. 

Running through the trees he found Steve in his truck, "come on Danny!" 

He jumped in. They followed the car out onto the residential streets.

"Steve what the hell?"

"I was out swimming when I saw the bastards coming up the beach and I was about a mile out. Took a while but I followed them in the water till I knew where they were headed." It was then that Danny realized Steve was in board shorts and nothing else. "They went into the Wesley’s place. Got one of them tied up before that one made a break for it. Mr. Wesley was calling the police." He nodded to Danny, "could you tell them we are in a chase?"

Reaching for his phone, "shit." It was right where he left it. On the dining room table with his car keys. "I could use a coconut Steve." With a smirk.

"Huh?"

"My phone is on the table with my keys." Smiling at the irony that Steve was asking for him to call backup and he couldn’t Danny had a thought, "umm where did you keep your keys?"

"Oh I always have a spare in the wheel well. Don’t you?" Danny had a look of incredulity on his face. "What? Precaution."

"You don’t have a spare gun? Do you?"

Steve gave one of his ‘I can kill with a banana’ looks. "No need. When we catch him I will take care of him."

"Great," sarcasm dripping, "not only will we not have backup on this merry little chase. You are going to kill them with what? A coconut? Pineapple grenade? Oh maybe you can find paperclip in the," looking around he sees they are now in a jungle area, "jungle. Umm never mind. If we catch him can I just kill him with my bare hands please?" The sarcasm was thick, "that way maybe we can get home to the steak that is waiting today sometime?"

"Sure Danny. You can kill them. I will rig a pineapple grenade for you just to be safe," Steve smirked brightly. 

He was enjoying this. Actually fucking enjoying it. "You dumb bastard! This is not funny. You are driving into the reserve without backup, no weapons, and you aren’t even wearing any clothing. What the hell, really?" Danny felt a clot break loose. He knew that Steve would kill him one day. Today was the day. He was going to have a stroke he just knew it.

"Danny relax. The car is right ahead of us and there is one guy in it. You didn’t see a gun when he ran by did you?" Danny stopped to think about the interaction with the running suspect. Shaking his head no he looked at Steve. "See we will be out of the jungle with said bad guy in no time. Promise."

 

"Promise huh Steve?" Danny was sitting on a stump near the falling down shed.

"Shuddup!" Steve was staring at his truck. He had broken an axle. "We caught the guy so just shuddup." It was true. The single remaining masked man was currently bungee corded, all they had in the truck, to a tree. However, the reason they had the bad guy was because he had broken his axel too!

"Sooooooo," Danny was staring at Steve who looked very out of place. Standing in the jungle, staring at the Silverado in his board shorts with, "is that mud on your face?"

"Would you please just shut up. I beg you Danny. I will give you anything. Just please," begging, "please shut up."

Shrugging Danny left Steve staring at the Silverado and went over to the suspect. "So day going well for you?"

"Shuddup asswipe," the guy growled.

"Ah what a great day to be me." Danny wandered into the shed seeing if there was anything that could be used to get them back to civilization. Since he was the only one wearing shoes, well the suspect was, but his shoes were too small for Super SEAL and Danny really didn’t want to trudge three or four miles in the jungle for help. Sitting on a crate in the shed he felt a little cooler being out of the sun. 

"Well, we are stuck." Steve came into the shed, he was hobbling a little, but Danny couldn’t find it in himself to care. "Sorry Danny. I didn’t mean for this to happen." Danny just waved at him. "What?"

"Everyone telling me to shuddup. So I am." Danny crossed his arms.

"Danny I am sorry. I didn’t mean for you to shut up." Steve scrubbed his face and leaned on the crate Danny was sitting on. "Okay I did. I just needed a few minutes to think. Sorry." 

"Hhumph." Was Danny’s only response. Before Steve could ask what was really pissing Danny off there was a shot gun blast outside the shed. Steve dropped and Danny dropped next to him. Right on his broken toe. 

Present time. "Are you going out there to greet Mr. Shotgun Super SEAL? Because I sure as hell ain’t." Danny was looking through the broken out window.

"Sure Danny let me grab my pineapple grenade."

"Sorry I used that one. You’ll need to get the coconut one from the truck."

Steve snorted. "When we get back home you and I are going to discuss your use of sarcasm in situations where you are pissed at me."

"Thank you Captain Sarcastic!" Danny nodded outside. "Well?"

"Fine," Steve moved toward the door, "hello to whoever has the shotgun." Danny’s eyebrows raised pretty high on that. "We are with Five-O. I am coming out."

"Steve good idea, tell them we are part of Five-O before going out unarmed. Goodbye taskforce."

"Danny I mean this when I say this, you suck you really do." Steve moved toward the doorway that didn’t have a door. "I am Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett with Five-O."

Danny just watched Super SEAL walk into armed conflict without a weapon or backup. Or any damn clothes for that matter! Staying crouched for a moment trying to decide if he should do what he always do or sit this one out. After all it is his day off. "Shit," Danny followed Steve out, "Detective Williams with Five-O."

When Danny got to the other side of the Silverado there was a white pickup and Steve was having a nice chat with a man who was like five hundred. The suspect was still bungeed to the tree and Steve and the mummy were having a lively little chat. So Danny just leaned on the truck to watch the suspect. He heard the pidgin between the two men. Not understanding half of it, although he knew enough to know Steve was trying to get them out to civilization he waited. A smile and slap on the shoulder. Danny grimaced Steve was like 7 feet tall and he just swatted a hobbit. He walked over to Danny with a smile, "Paka will give us a ride up to his ranch. We can call HPD and a tow from there."

"You do realize you could have squashed him like a bug when you slapped his shoulder right?" Danny was watching Steve wince on his broken toe, "are you okay? Will you need a nurse Stevy?"

"Danny we are going to discuss your sarcasm when we get home."

"Blow me Steven!" Danny walked away from him to the suspect. "I am going loosen the cords you stupid man, but if you try and run I will sic my Super SEAL on your ass. Remember how you wound up here when you think about running." Releasing the suspect. "Truck, asswipe." Pushing the suspect toward Paka the Hobbit and the truck bed. Paka stood with his shotgun so the suspect went quietly.

Steve was still standing next to his truck. Looking over his shoulder Danny watched Steve dig through the truck for a minute and then head toward the other truck. He was hobbling just a bit from his broken toe. "Ready Danno?"

Hopping in the front leaving the truck bed for Danny and the suspect, "thank you SO much Steven," more sarcasm. He was full of sarcasm today. More than usual but Danny couldn’t quite get a grip on why.

 

Opening the door for Steve, "after you master." Who hobbled through his own door. The broken toe had swollen quite nicely and the EMTs gave Steve some ice and pain meds, but it was a broken toe. So there was nothing they could really do.

"Fuck you very much Williams." His sour mood was only getting worse. Steve’s truck was out of commission for at least a week. Also he wasn’t supposed to run, jump, flying tackle, thank you Danny for your input, or anything else remotely mobile for at least a week while his toe healed. Steve immediately went to the sink in the kitchen and pulled out his emergency kit. Okay he had four of them in the house, but this was the closest. Taking it and a beer he went to the couch to wrap his toe.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Danny shake his head and go to turn on the BBQ. They still had dinner and why bother wasting it. While the gas grill heated up he stood in the doorway and watched Steve. "You know there are shoes out there that are called five finger shoes. They aren’t cheap, but you can wear them when you swim and if you ever have to chase a suspect again you may not break your toe next time."

He just grunted at him. Steve wasn’t pissed at Danny. More pissed at himself. He knew Danny was pissed at the situation and that was why the man was being sarcastic about everything. But Steve just didn’t want to fight with the man. His foot hurt and he was tired and hungry.

"Fine," Danny went into the kitchen. Steve could hear him banging around in there. He knew he should apologize. It was their day off and they were not supposed to be chasing suspects and break his truck. If Steve had just managed to call backup before going to the Wesley’s none of this would have happened, but he was trained to act first. As usual Danny was dragged into something Steve had jumped into without stopping to assess the situation. The masked men had been his priority. The kitchen was quiet now, but Danny hadn’t returned.

Steve finished taping his toe it felt immediately better being taped to the rest of the foot. That and the pain meds made walking so much better. Moving to the kitchen he saw Danny looking out his kitchen window. Stopping in the door he didn’t want to disturb him. "Danny I am sorry." A sigh from the man by the sink. He wanted to touch Danny, not sure why Steve just knew it would make them both feel better. There was something about the way Danny was standing and not looking at him that made him hesitate. Nodding to himself Steve crossed the kitchen to be directly behind Danny.

"Personal space Steve," it was not a happy sound.

Smiling a good smile that he saved strictly for Danny he placed his hands on either side of the man and moved in. Quietly he whispered in his ear, "isn’t that Captain Sarcastic?" He felt the man smile. Steve was close enough to feel the tension leave Danny’s body. "We need to discuss your sarcasm from earlier."

"Steve please don’t. I am tired and hungry just please leave it alone." Danny was tense again but his shoulders sagged.

"No I don’t think I can." Even Steve noticed his voice get deeper. His lips never left Danny’s ear. "In fact we need to discuss it. There is also one other thing we need to discuss." Taking Danny’s earlobe in his mouth he tugged. "I believe your very words were ‘blow me Steven.’ Am I correct?" Danny nodded and Steve saw the redness on his neck. It could be embarrassment or arousal or the sun from earlier, "turn around Danny." Steve never moved. So Danny had to turn inside Steve’s arms. A smile touched Steve’s eyes. He saw the arousal in Danny’s eyes. "Blow me Steven." The breathing near his lips hitched. "Those are your exact words. Right?" A slight nod from the smaller man. A smile that was no longer goofy but more predatory came to Steve’s lips. "Master?"

A quiet, "shit."

The predator had it’s prey and was going to enjoy playing with him. "Belt, Williams." Danny’s hands fumbled slightly but his got it loose. "Drop them." Not being kind at all. He had seen the way Danny watched him. Steve knew this wasn’t the type of play Danny wanted, but right now if he touched the man he would have no control over himself. So he was using the directives to keep himself in control. Hell he never had any control Danny has it all, but no need for him to know that just yet. "Buttons. I want your nipples Williams." A growl, to how close Steve was to tearing Danny’s shirt. Danny did quiet well getting his arms inside Steve’s to unbutton his shirt, "shirt off, but leave the tie." Danny’s throat did such a nice job of swallowing. So Steve leaned in and licked. "Hmm salt. I like that."

Steve could feel the internal struggle from Danny. In fact, he was pretty sure he was as scared as Steve was in this moment. They both wanted this it had been obvious for a while now. Trust Danny to say what he wanted. Sometimes Steve could be thickheaded but on this command he was going to go with it. Because he really wanted to blow Danny. "Please," a quiet request. His face was buried in Danny’s neck and he heard it. A sharp intake a lick and Steve was in action. Feeling Danny grab the sink Steve took him in one swift suck. "Christ," and Danny was gone. Hands braced on his upper legs to hold him up Steve was swirling his tongue around Danny’s cock while sucking gently and firmly. A nail gently scratched his inner thigh and Danny hissed. 

As much as he wanted to make this last Steve wanted to taste Danny badly. It might be his only chance and Steve wasn’t going to let the other man take this from him. Moving his hand slowly he cupped Danny’s balls. As his mouth sucked in a slight rhythm the fingers pulled on Danny’s balls to match the rhythm. Steve’s tongue moved along the line on the bottom of Danny’s dick. Swirling the tip each time he moved back and then swallowing again. Danny leaned his head back and moaned. Figuring this was good Steve kept his attentions just enough to tease.

Cupping Danny's balls Steve replaced his mouth with his hand on Danny’s dick. Squeezing and twisting Steve ducked lower and took one then the other of Danny’s balls in his mouth. Sucking gently while he used his hand on Danny. "Shit Steve, please god." Danny was becoming incoherent. Which Steve liked immensely. Letting the balls go Steve gently bit the interior thigh marking Danny because no one was ever going to get this close again, but him. "Gawd," it sounded ragged and Steve could see Danny’s balls drawing up. Moving quickly he placed his hand at the base of Danny’s cock and took him in a swallow. 

Sucking and licking he wanted to swallow Danny. Using his tongue and swirling he moves up and down Danny’s cock he wants this. Putting his tongue at the base of Danny’s penis head he used it to his advantage to move up and down the vein there. "Steve gawd oh damn," and that was what it took. Steve swallowed Danny. Moving his hand to Danny’s thigh he continued to suck and move up and down through Danny’s orgasm. He didn’t want the man to fall over but he wasn’t ready to release Danny’s dick. Danny’s hands were in his hair and he liked that. Once Danny came down Steve slowed his sucking. Letting the man from his mouth Steve felt loss but knew it was only the beginning.

Kissing his way from Danny’s cock to his nipples he heard the hiss, "Steve jesus you’re killing me." A nibble in response, "okay if I die you need to tell them I had a stroke." A coherent Danny was a bad thing so soon after an orgasm, but it could be a wealth of possibilities. Suck and move to the neck suck and nibble. "If you leave a visible hickey I swear Steven." There it was, his name. It was all it took and Steve came in his board shorts. The man's voice had more power than he ever knew.

They stood leaned against the sink with Steve pretty much draped over Danny. Reaching out he put his arms around Steve. Steve felt safe with Danny holding him tightly. His breathing was starting to calm. Their relationship had just changed and for once Steve didn’t feel like the future was going to be empty. "Danno," Steve’s mouth was in Danny’s neck and it made the man shiver. Or maybe it was his hot breath. Steve would have to find out about that later. "If you are going to be sarcastic can you wait till later when we are in bed? I am a bit hungry."

Laughter made both men shake, "I can do that for you babe. Can you BBQ?"

A lick on his neck and a small bite, "yes I need steak, a beer, and something to turn them. How do you like your steak?" Neither man had moved a muscle.

"Medium well Steven. Medium well."

Steve leaned back to look Danny in the eye, "your wish is my command," he said with absolute truth written on his face.

A soft smile brightened Danny’s face, "yes master."

 

Finis


End file.
